Holy cow! Didn't realize that I still had this blog. Cool to see my thoughts at a younger age. Wow, time flies!
As you can see my last post was in 2012 when I was a wee medical student.
Since then, I've moved on to become a resident, now doing cardiology fellowship in the city that I was born and raised. Hard work and sacrifices have paid off.
Now, married and preparing for a family. Uncle to two cuties. No longer just work and career focussed. There's more to life than medicine.
Less time for written reflection, but more life experiences. Some good some bad.
Was medicine all work it in the end? I still think it is. What makes it more worth it is to have someone I can share the journey with.
Until next time. Will out.
Saturday, July 30, 2016
Monday, March 26, 2012
Life Updates
It's 1:16 AM the morning before I start my family medicine core rotation. I should be in bed or reviewing a dermatological history, but I've had lots to think about over the past 2 weeks and have seriously questioned my future career choices, friends, and interests. I've finished my core rotations in surgery, medicine, and ER so far and my "second" semester is considered "lighter" with family medicine, obs/gyn, peds, and psych still to go. All I can think of is enjoying the upcoming summer as much as I can.
Many things have transpired over the past year. I can say that I'm happily in a long-term relationship with someone that I care about. When I am with her I am always happy and when I am away from her I always feel that something is missing. We are going to couple's match together for CARMs and I've firmly decided to place her above everything else. Surprisingly, this puts me somewhat at ease about deciding what type of doctor I want to be.
Fluffy issues aside, I am still stressed about what I am going to do about my future. I have many interests and I sometimes find myself spread too thin. At least I've narrowed my choices down to internal medicine, 5-year FRCP EM, and 2+1 in EM or hospitalist medicine yet the pressure to accommodate all these interests during electives is impossible. What electives, where to do them, how long will they last? Elective booking is still a work in progress. One thing I do know for sure is that I hate playing the CARMs game. It's superficial, unnatural, and creates unnecessary cognitive dissonance.
New things I've learned about myself during this busy clerkship year where my free time has never been limited to this extent before. I have ADHD, binge on videogames, despise sleep deprivation, love caring for patients that I get along with, love the outdoors, cherish my free time off to play sports, pick up new hobbies and catch up with old friends, love to travel, and will never be perfectly happy (or achieve a state of bliss).
Things I'd like to blog about from now until the start of my electives (fingers crossed that they will actually happen).
- Reflecting on patients that I cared for on internal medicine and abstracting life lessons and medical advice
- Frequent health policy updates: Drummond Report (when will I have time to read it?), CHC's vs. FHC's, patient safety (new interest!!!), MSc. (where oh where?), transition care reform, complex care centres and innovations, EMR's (a dark chapter in Canadian history)
- Prevention advice (inspired by family medicine rotation) - a daunting prospect or a realistic goal?
- Carving out research niche - will I be a clinician scientist/researcher? My supervisor recently said that I lacked the essence of curiosity.
- Still in search of mentors...
- Interests outside of medicine
- Where I see myself in 10 years
- Future travels
WC
Many things have transpired over the past year. I can say that I'm happily in a long-term relationship with someone that I care about. When I am with her I am always happy and when I am away from her I always feel that something is missing. We are going to couple's match together for CARMs and I've firmly decided to place her above everything else. Surprisingly, this puts me somewhat at ease about deciding what type of doctor I want to be.
Fluffy issues aside, I am still stressed about what I am going to do about my future. I have many interests and I sometimes find myself spread too thin. At least I've narrowed my choices down to internal medicine, 5-year FRCP EM, and 2+1 in EM or hospitalist medicine yet the pressure to accommodate all these interests during electives is impossible. What electives, where to do them, how long will they last? Elective booking is still a work in progress. One thing I do know for sure is that I hate playing the CARMs game. It's superficial, unnatural, and creates unnecessary cognitive dissonance.
New things I've learned about myself during this busy clerkship year where my free time has never been limited to this extent before. I have ADHD, binge on videogames, despise sleep deprivation, love caring for patients that I get along with, love the outdoors, cherish my free time off to play sports, pick up new hobbies and catch up with old friends, love to travel, and will never be perfectly happy (or achieve a state of bliss).
Things I'd like to blog about from now until the start of my electives (fingers crossed that they will actually happen).
- Reflecting on patients that I cared for on internal medicine and abstracting life lessons and medical advice
- Frequent health policy updates: Drummond Report (when will I have time to read it?), CHC's vs. FHC's, patient safety (new interest!!!), MSc. (where oh where?), transition care reform, complex care centres and innovations, EMR's (a dark chapter in Canadian history)
- Prevention advice (inspired by family medicine rotation) - a daunting prospect or a realistic goal?
- Carving out research niche - will I be a clinician scientist/researcher? My supervisor recently said that I lacked the essence of curiosity.
- Still in search of mentors...
- Interests outside of medicine
- Where I see myself in 10 years
- Future travels
WC
Monday, April 25, 2011
Revived Interest in Health Policy
Why an interest in health policy?
Health policy has always captured my attention. My first exposure to the field was in 3rd year of undergrad with a course taught by John Lavis. All throughout my graduating year, I attended lectures on health care by Gordon Guyatt. Both made me wonder about macro level issues and gave me a taste of politics, economics, and social psychology. I even applied to graduate programs in public policy and health services research at UofT with the goal of informing the ongoing debate on a national pharmaceutical strategy. In med school, interest in health policy waned b/c of little curricular exposure. Generally speaking, anything related to the field was lumped together under the umbrella of a "Determinant of Community Health" course, which almost every UofT med student I know despises...unfortunately.
Why a revival?
A federal election is on the horizon and health care is a big topic. In order to comprehend the implications of health system changes, medical students may benefit from a basic understanding of health policy (re: physician/policy scientist). Most importantly, medical students should engage in dialogue to discuss about health care platforms and forums should be built into the curriculum to facilitate this (i.e. why not incorporate it in the "Determinants of Community Health" course that I alluded to before). Understanding how physicians and their patients fit into a larger system helps make sense of limitations in their every day practice.
Where does this leave me?
Desperate for conversation with someone who shares some interest in health policy. Where is Sartorius when I need him? My free time is spent reading posts on healthydebate.ca, an informative website I recently stumbled upon. I encourage all to take a look. Finally, I'm left thirsting for a mentor and thoughts of pursuing a MSc. in the field become more appealing. At this rate, I will never settle.
WC
Health policy has always captured my attention. My first exposure to the field was in 3rd year of undergrad with a course taught by John Lavis. All throughout my graduating year, I attended lectures on health care by Gordon Guyatt. Both made me wonder about macro level issues and gave me a taste of politics, economics, and social psychology. I even applied to graduate programs in public policy and health services research at UofT with the goal of informing the ongoing debate on a national pharmaceutical strategy. In med school, interest in health policy waned b/c of little curricular exposure. Generally speaking, anything related to the field was lumped together under the umbrella of a "Determinant of Community Health" course, which almost every UofT med student I know despises...unfortunately.
Why a revival?
A federal election is on the horizon and health care is a big topic. In order to comprehend the implications of health system changes, medical students may benefit from a basic understanding of health policy (re: physician/policy scientist). Most importantly, medical students should engage in dialogue to discuss about health care platforms and forums should be built into the curriculum to facilitate this (i.e. why not incorporate it in the "Determinants of Community Health" course that I alluded to before). Understanding how physicians and their patients fit into a larger system helps make sense of limitations in their every day practice.
Where does this leave me?
Desperate for conversation with someone who shares some interest in health policy. Where is Sartorius when I need him? My free time is spent reading posts on healthydebate.ca, an informative website I recently stumbled upon. I encourage all to take a look. Finally, I'm left thirsting for a mentor and thoughts of pursuing a MSc. in the field become more appealing. At this rate, I will never settle.
WC
Friday, September 24, 2010
Career Update - Clinician Scientist?
Out with Community Medicine, Surgery, and Psychiatry.
Deciding between Family Medicine (+ Emergency), Emergency Medicine, Neurology, or Internal Medicine. Very different careers, I know.
Positive research experience in CREMs program with an excellent mentor. No longer thinking about MPH, but rather MSc. in Clin Epi. Stanford?
Deciding between Family Medicine (+ Emergency), Emergency Medicine, Neurology, or Internal Medicine. Very different careers, I know.
Positive research experience in CREMs program with an excellent mentor. No longer thinking about MPH, but rather MSc. in Clin Epi. Stanford?
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Career Pondering
- Community Medicine: 2 years of Family Medicine training, 1 year of academic training (get MPH at London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, Harvard, or Johns Hopkins), and 2 years of rotations - gives you flexibility to be clinician, researcher, Medical Officer of Health, health policy consultant, etc.
- Family Medicine + Emergency
- Emergency
- Internal Medicine
- Neurology
- Pediatrics
- Psychiatry
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Saturday, December 12, 2009
PTSD
Took a well-deserved break from studying by watching a movie with some old friends. I don't want to spoil the plot of the movie, but essentially a soldier (who was thought to be dead) unexpectedly returns from his service in Afghanistan suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). While a captive in Afghanistan, he was forced to kill his comrade or risk being killed himself.
When the solider returned to his family, he had difficulty trusting his loved ones. He presented with unusual behaviours, such as compulsively organizing dishes in the kitchen according to shape, size, and height. His affect changed from before - it became incongruent. Finally, he lost his ability to show emotion.
It's hard to say whether the movie made me more or less interested in psychiatry. I've always found psychiatry fascinating for the reason that patients often present with complex and multi-layered problems. Piecing together a patient's situation is no easy task, but the exercise itself allows room for interpretation and analysis. Psychiatry may not be one of the more evidence-based branches of medicine, but it does finely capture the art of it. However, treatment is usually long and arduous (even if you suggest pill-popping), some patients may deny having any mental health disorders, and improvements are hard to measure. With limited techniques and strategies, how do you know you are helping your patients?
WC
When the solider returned to his family, he had difficulty trusting his loved ones. He presented with unusual behaviours, such as compulsively organizing dishes in the kitchen according to shape, size, and height. His affect changed from before - it became incongruent. Finally, he lost his ability to show emotion.
It's hard to say whether the movie made me more or less interested in psychiatry. I've always found psychiatry fascinating for the reason that patients often present with complex and multi-layered problems. Piecing together a patient's situation is no easy task, but the exercise itself allows room for interpretation and analysis. Psychiatry may not be one of the more evidence-based branches of medicine, but it does finely capture the art of it. However, treatment is usually long and arduous (even if you suggest pill-popping), some patients may deny having any mental health disorders, and improvements are hard to measure. With limited techniques and strategies, how do you know you are helping your patients?
WC
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Reflections on My 22nd Birthday
Loosing energy and easily fatigued from 9-5 classes. Falling behind in my lectures even though I'm studious. Not leaving enough time for my friends and family. Getting moody, doubting my abilities, and questioning career choices. Unhappy with my learning progress and intimidated by my peers. Cannot express my thoughts clearly to others. Finding emptiness in other people's advice and suggestions. Looking for a confidence boost.
Dx: burnout?
Rx:
Dx: burnout?
Rx:
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