Life Updates

It's 1:16 AM the morning before I start my family medicine core rotation. I should be in bed or reviewing a dermatological history, but I've had lots to think about over the past 2 weeks and have seriously questioned my future career choices, friends, and interests. I've finished my core rotations in surgery, medicine, and ER so far and my "second" semester is considered "lighter" with family medicine, obs/gyn, peds, and psych still to go. All I can think of is enjoying the upcoming summer as much as I can.

Many things have transpired over the past year. I can say that I'm happily in a long-term relationship with someone that I care about. When I am with her I am always happy and when I am away from her I always feel that something is missing. We are going to couple's match together for CARMs and I've firmly decided to place her above everything else. Surprisingly, this puts me somewhat at ease about deciding what type of doctor I want to be.

Fluffy issues aside, I am still stressed about what I am going to do about my future. I have many interests and I sometimes find myself spread too thin. At least I've narrowed my choices down to internal medicine, 5-year FRCP EM, and 2+1 in EM or hospitalist medicine yet the pressure to accommodate all these interests during electives is impossible. What electives, where to do them, how long will they last? Elective booking is still a work in progress. One thing I do know for sure is that I hate playing the CARMs game. It's superficial, unnatural, and creates unnecessary cognitive dissonance.

New things I've learned about myself during this busy clerkship year where my free time has never been limited to this extent before. I have ADHD, binge on videogames, despise sleep deprivation, love caring for patients that I get along with, love the outdoors, cherish my free time off to play sports, pick up new hobbies and catch up with old friends, love to travel, and will never be perfectly happy (or achieve a state of bliss).

Things I'd like to blog about from now until the start of my electives (fingers crossed that they will actually happen).

- Reflecting on patients that I cared for on internal medicine and abstracting life lessons and medical advice
- Frequent health policy updates: Drummond Report (when will I have time to read it?), CHC's vs. FHC's, patient safety (new interest!!!), MSc. (where oh where?), transition care reform, complex care centres and innovations, EMR's (a dark chapter in Canadian history)
- Prevention advice (inspired by family medicine rotation) - a daunting prospect or a realistic goal?
- Carving out research niche - will I be a clinician scientist/researcher? My supervisor recently said that I lacked the essence of curiosity.
- Still in search of mentors...
- Interests outside of medicine
- Where I see myself in 10 years
- Future travels

WC